Being Present: The Key to Connection
I was recently thinking about my TV show and it dawned on me that I have a pretty good knack for connection. Human connection is one of the most underrated factors to live a healthy and happy life. We spend so much of our day-to-day lives interacting with other people, that it amazes me that something so important as communication has not been more appreciated to the point where we would talk about it and teach it in schools, for example.
As much as we need other people, sometimes we think of ourselves as knowing how they would think or react, so we often believe that just by doing what our parents and grandparents before us did, that that would be sufficient to enable us to handle situations and people in our society.
Take this from me: if you want to have a better relationship with someone else, be it a loved one or somebody that you just met, first create a foundation where you see and hear this other individual, and that you are interested in what they have to say. Branch out, and talk to people that you would normally not talk to. Think about somebody that you believe has nothing in common with you, and that you could gain new perspectives from.
It is so easy for us to create human connection that I believe we have made it so much more difficult for ourselves. Let’s go back to basics: I don’t care if you’re saying good morning and you expect the other person to reply good morning back, or if you’re asking someone to marry you. When we take away all the pretenses and all the preconceived notions we are able to see humanity - our own and other people’s.
It is so much easier to create bridges than to create separation. Why do we insist then, on becoming ever more tribalistic and inside bubbles where everyone that we interact with thinks and acts exactly like we do? Isn’t it time that we actually step outside of our comfort sound and embrace what we all have in common?
What you may want for someone else may not be what they want for themselves. Do you stop to ask what it is that someone else wants or do you just infer that you already know the answer?
Connect with yourself. Once we are able to be present, living in the moment, it is so much easier to connect to another human heart. Begin to do the work on yourself, that way it will become natural to have a dialogue.
Each one of us has the ability to create rapport. When we have dialogue, we are able to achieve many wonderful things together. Remember that human beings are hardwired for connection from the time we are born.
Each one us wants to feel seen, heard and valued. In a world that becomes ever more isolated, what are you doing to keep the lines of communication open in your life?