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  • Writer's pictureEric Faria

How To Manage Your Stress Through Self-Love

Each human being is inherently worthy.

Take this in: You are inherently worthy. Before you ever do, achieve, or acquire, you are worthy. In other words, you are born worthy. This is a profound and powerful place to live from. How many of us really believe we are worthy?

In our culture, sadly, I think most of us believe we are not enough because our worth needs to be constantly earned. There is a continual striving to do more, to achieve more, and to acquire more. If we do this, it will somehow make us worthy. In this paradigm, life is very conditional. There is always more to do, achieve, and acquire. Living this way can be exhausting. Most of us live with some level of shame because we will never measure up.

We pursue external identity markers that we think are important in order for us to be worthy. The markers can be “I have not achieved X" or "I do not own Y". These markers are all arbitrary and subjective. Sometimes the markers are met and then there is a sense of well-being. It doesn't last, though. If you are only as good as your last task, achievement, or acquisition, this same process must be followed repeatedly. There is no end in sight. It makes it impossible to feel good about yourself in an ongoing way. This can lead to a life of anxiety and depression because internally you never feel you are enough.

Coaching has been fundamental for me in acceptance of myself. In my personal practice, I emphasize positive self-esteem as one of the tools that enables my clients to experience their own essence. This allows them to move into a more self-accepting stance.

By doing the work, my clients accept themselves as they are now, which allows them to become the person they want to be. This happens because we are human beings. Movement and change are part of who we are. The humanistic belief is if we accept ourselves as we are now, we naturally move towards health and wholeness. Thus, paradoxically, by not fighting against ourselves and accepting who we are in the moment, we can compassionately let go or modify undesired aspects of ourselves and become more authentic.

Knowing you are worthy, you can authentically engage with your life, through all its joys and challenges. Learn to take action from your core, not from a sense of lack. These are easy tools and techniques to apply on a daily basis.

I would like to suggest an experiment: for 24 hours, go through the day believing that you are enough and worthy just as you are. Be aware of how this action may move you into a sense of well-being, a sense of rebellion, or anything in between. No matter what comes up for you, treat yourself with kindness. Day by day, you will begin to see the real you - what a gift that is!

#IAM #Column

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